Thursday, January 6, 2011

Mwah ha ha...

I am unduly excited by the possibility of writing something that people will enjoy reading. So many people have told me how much they like the way I express myself that I can't resist inflicting myself upon a possible mass market. YOU may not be one of those people. Feel free to bugger off and do something more productive with your time.

How best to captivate an audience? I know!! I'll transfer some of my musings from the dating site I've been using. Yea, yea, I know, I know. Who wants to hear the gory details of someone's false starts, near misses and dating disasters? Me, that's who. For all I know, nobody will ever read this blog so at least I can amuse myself.

No, really, getting back to you, my potential audience. Surely the irreverent yet inescapably mundane detritus of my mind with respect to sex and romance could provide ample foraging for those who should be making better use of their time. *Ahem* That was your last warning to get the hell off the computer and finish whatever project you're supposed to be working on.

Now should I put this...I'm not actively dating. That's right, I'm on a dating site, which I prefer to relanguage as a social networking site, and I'm not actively seeking a Romeo. It makes sense in my own little world. I would say I'm checking out who or what is out there. I see the dating site as if it were some kind of respository containing a vast, unknowable number of eligible bachelors I might someday be interested in pursuing. Window shopping, if you will.

Only the young and stupid are confident about sex and romance. The rest of us (that means me, but I have a nasty habit of including you and the rest of the world in my generalizations) muddle our way through, pretending to learn (or actually learning) something from each experience before embarking on yet another adventure. And we've come full circle to the point where you should have some idea why I'm not dating. Confused? Exactly.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have other things that need to get done. When the mood strikes me, I'll begin the transfer of posts which could be aptly titled, "Cautionary Tales from the World of Non-dating Dating." It's oxymoronic to the nth degree, trust me.

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